Are you a leader?
and other worthy reflections
Have you ever hesitated to call yourself a leader?
If so, you’re not alone. And it’s likely all about your definition.
Many of us come to know leadership, and whether we consider ourselves leaders, through definitions we’ve adopted without much examination. They live in us quietly, shaping what we see and what we dismiss.
For example, how many of us carry “follower” as a core dimension of the concept “leader”? If leadership requires followers, what does that set up? And what does it leave out?
How many of us have come to equate leadership with a formal role, a title, a position of authority granted over other people? If that’s the frame, then what happens to all the leading that takes place outside of org charts and hierarchies?
I explored some of these inherited assumptions in an earlier piece, Redefining Leadership. What struck me then, and still does, is how rarely we examine the definitions we’re operating from, even as they quietly shape how we show up.
And here’s another question worth sitting with: are there good leaders and bad leaders? Or does the very word “leader” imply something about how one uses power? Someone who leads well on behalf of others. Someone who uses their power to empower, not to diminish.
These are all worth asking when you’re considering whether or not you might be a leader. Whether you consider yourself one. Or perhaps, many.
In Traveling Light, I wrote about the beliefs we carry into our leadership without realizing it. The assumptions we packed so long ago, we forget they're in the bag. Our definitions of leadership are some of the heaviest.
My hope here is simple. I want to invite you, the reader, into the possibility that you are already a leader. Just as you are already, and have always been, a follower too. We are connected through a complex web of relationships, and we always have been. But now, more than ever, many of us are waking up to this reality, not as an abstract idea, but as a lived experience.
Earlier today, I was listening to a friend talk about the leader of an organization she belongs to. She was frustrated. Communication was lacking, people were leaving, and morale was slipping. The president, she felt, was letting everyone down.
I asked if she or anyone else had shared these concerns directly with the president.
You can probably guess the answer.
As we talked, I began to notice something underneath the frustration. An assumption so familiar it was almost invisible: that leadership lived in one person, and the rest of the group could only wait and hope she would get it right.
I got curious. Not about the president, but about the story my friend was telling. What would it mean for her to bring her observations directly to the person she was frustrated with? Not as a complaint, but as an offering. Here is what I’m seeing. Here is what I’m experiencing. Here is what we need.
And a bigger question started to take shape between us. If leadership is not just a role but a living system, something closer to an ecology, then what is the responsibility of everyone inside it? What happens when the people with the clearest view of what’s going wrong are also the ones waiting for someone else to fix it?
Something shifted in our conversation. I could feel it. Not a resolution, but a crack in the frame. The beginning of a different question.
The best leaders are really good followers.
When we talk about leadership, most of us default to one form.
Formal Leadership The title, the org chart, the position of authority. Formal leadership is the version my friend was operating from. And it’s real. But it’s only one expression of something much larger.
Informal Leadership The person who shifts the energy in a room. The colleague who asks the question no one else will. The one who quietly holds the group together during a hard season. No title required. No permission granted. Just presence and willingness.
Followership as Leadership This is what my friend was being invited to do: speak up and offer perspective. Taking responsibility for the health of a system you belong to, not because you’ve been appointed, but because you care enough to say something. Followership as leadership might be the most undervalued form we have.
Shared or Relational Leadership Leadership moves between people depending on the context, the need, and the moment. Not one person at the center, but a living system where influence flows in many directions. Something closer to ecology than hierarchy.
Most of us practice several of these on any given day without recognizing it. The question isn’t whether you’re a leader. It’s which forms of leadership you’re already living, and which ones you might be ready to step into more fully.
So I’ll return to the question I started with. Have you ever hesitated to call yourself a leader?
And now, a second one: what if the hesitation itself is worth examining? Not as a problem to fix, but as an invitation to look more closely at what you believe leadership is, where that belief came from, and whether it still fits the life you’re actually living.
Reflective question: What might shift if you let that in?
If you’re in a formal leadership role and looking for support in developing your practice, here are three ways to go deeper:
Read the companion post, Listening for the Conversation: Where Leadership Begins. Available to preview for free, with the full practice for paid subscribers.
Watch the recorded live session, Why People Stay, exploring how leaders cultivate clarity, growth, and belonging in their organizations. Available for paid subscribers, or start a free 7-day trial.
Connect with me on a call. Schedule a free discovery call to explore what’s showing up in your leadership right now.
Excellent article! I've been doing a round of line-jump 1:1s with the team and have had some enlightening conversations about future interest in leadership. As you've outlined, many of them don't recognize themselves as already leading, and I love that moment where those of us in official leadership roles get to reinforce that. The look on their face when they see it is priceless. I really appreciate the different characterizations of leadership types. That will allow me to use more nuanced language in these chats.
The followership point is the one most leadership writing skips entirely.
Naming a problem clearly, bringing an uncomfortable observation to the person who can act on it, taking responsibility for the health of a system you belong to - these are leadership acts that require more courage than most titled roles demand.
Thanks for sharing this!